Feeling MEH...

I am so sick of the backward and forward...move forward a little on the scale then back again.  This is how it goes.  When I was on weight watchers and now Body by Vi.  Don't get me wrong...I love my shakes.  I am not giving them up.  They make me feel good.  Give me energy.  Curb the munchie attacks.   I know if I ate clean like some always say, I would probably be losing but I don't want to give up all the things I like.  But still everything in Moderation.  The BBV fb page was so helpful at first but now it seems like it is full of silly questions that should come with common sense and Food police.  Today's bit of tidbit was "if you want to lose weight stay away from dairy"  REALLY....I am suppose to give up cheese now.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.  I get reduced fat cheese already and now they want me to give it up.  They say give up diet soda and while yes I know that it isn't the best but I have 1 a day (most days).  it is my coffee.  So how would you coffee drinkers like it if I said "give it up"  Yes there is some good advice but mostly the same things are asked over and over and if they just looked at some archived questions or even did a search for it, you would find it.  Questions that are repeated are "how many calories should I eat"  "what is the best workout for me"  "how much water do I need to drink and how do I figure out what half my body weight in oz is"  "I have been on this for X amount of time and I haven't lost anything"  I am not going to lie....I have been on this for 90 days now.  I have lost 9 pound.  Not outstanding numbers but at the beginning i wasn't the greatest with it.  i was trying to do WW and BBV.  In the last week I have been counting calories.  Now this feat isn't easy.  Trying to figure out what I should be eating.  If I wasn't working out, it would be easy.  My BMR is 1288  (body metabolic rate)  But then you have to figure out fitness.  That is where I go wonky.  Some would say I am intense.  I think I am moderately active.  Yes some weeks I am intense but mostly moderate.  So according to that I should be eating 1900 calories but getting that in my head seems like a LOT.  So I am starting out at 1400-1600 calories.  (a good midway range)  If that won't work.  I will probably up it.  to 1500-1700.  But I won't up it until after my legs are done...I will have to cut back on my workouts when that is done.    One thing I noticed doing calorie counting is that I eat less veggies and fruits.  on WW they counted as zero...now they count for something.  I think if this coming week I don't lose anything I might do calorie but count fruits and veggies as zero and see if increasing them while keeping my reg calories the same will help

I also have to fight the be happy where I am at feeling.  I also need to fight the "I am sick of working out"  feeling.  It use to make me happy going to the gym but today was rough.  I didn't want to be there.  I didn't want to workout.  It don't help when my husband brings home pizza and chocolate and eats out more than me.  I need a vacation from thinking about food and exercise.  But I can't.  I have a company picnic to go to with dh on the 15th.  Then I was going to go "camping" with MiL  (I say camping loosely cuz we aren't really going to be in a tent)

Another thing is I am having RFA of my veins on the 30th.  I am scared and nervous.  I don't know what to expect or what the recovery is?  When I can get back to my regular gym schedule.  I am just freaked out

I don't know where I am going with this.   I will be at the gym tomorrow (water fitness) and the next day and the next day.  I will be counting my calories like a good girl.