Husband

He is thinking about giving up. He is frustrated that he is gaining-loosing-gaining-loosing. he can't figure out where he is going wrong. Though i think some of it is his eating late at night, eating the wrong things (even though he has the points), not pairing something not so good with something good (ex. a slice of pizza and a salad instead of 3 slices of pizza and no salad) Eating slower, and his lack of will power when it comes to snacking. sure yeah you got the points don't mean you need to eat that whole package of candy bars. He has no self control and when MiL came she brought a gianormous euclair and yep he ate it. Also he needs to be more knowledge at what the points are and not guessing at what they are. eating late at night.

He is still working out. that is a plus. it probably frustrates him that i am loosing more than he is even though i am not telling him what i am loosing.

Today I walked to the park with Sam and her class. i was going to just drive up there and meet them but i decided that i was going to walk with them. i packed a lunch to eat with them also. good sandwich and salad. it filled me up. but boy are my legs sore from that walk.

The Sweat Shirt

I have this sweatshirt that has been sitting in my closet for a long time. I got it from when my brother in law was in the Milwaukee police force. i haven't worn it in a long time cuz even though it is a 2XL it just didn't feel right. well i put it on yesterday as i saw it hanging there and it fit. I only wore it for a few minutes but i think i could wear it if i need it to stay warm. only problem is it is a pull over hoodie and i really don't care for those as zipper ones are easier to take on and off if you get too hot or too cold.

On the note of cloth. I was in walmart the other day and they had pants on clearance. I picked out the blue pair, they were a size 20 petite (though who's petite i don't know, not mine) but they were really long but fit well. So when i was in the store and saw a light grey pair sitting there that were and XL, i thought i would get them, if they didn't fit that was ok, eventually i would get into them. SURPRISE they fit and MAN were they comfy. i just wish they were black as we all know fat women shouldn't really wear white pants as they show all our lumps and bumps. But i do love those pants and i don't care if the walmart mirrors lie to me. when i wear them i feel skinny and as long as i don't look in the mirrors i will think that for some time.

Hubby isn't doing to good though, he is going up and down alot. he has problems with portion control and munching. i try to steer him right and he always says "don't argue with me, i want blah blah blah" also he has a issue with speed. he don't eat slowly. inhales and then wants more.

Tomorrow is Samantha's picnic at school. I was going to join her at the park but now i think i am going to walk with the class. get some work out in. have lunch with my girl and watch her interact with her friends. it should be nice. Good new though the pool at the Centre is open now. back to water fitness.

Weigh In Day 5/28/11

SHOCKED. i thought for sure i wouldn't loose anything this week. i didn't workout at all except housework and maybe a little yard work but definatly not my usual, becuz the pool is shut down for the yearly maintences. then I was sick and didn't have the energy to workout. after i felt better i got broken, When i am broken i don't like to move much. oh and the munching. i don't feel i did well with my food intake. But all that said. I lost 2 pound. Total loss since start 32.5lbs. I know that is alot huh. I am 14lbs away from my first goal weight of 200.

Today though i put on a pair of light grey pants. they are soo utterly comfortable. they make me feel good. but yet when i went to the store. they way that i thought i look isn't the way the mirrors at the store made me look. i think those mirrors lie. either way these pants are way comfy. though i hate to take them off but i want to plant some flowers outside and yeah i don't want to get them full of dirt.

Small child

That is how much weight I lost. The size of my daughter. Hard to even imagine it. And even though I lost a small child I don't really feel much different. There are times when I feel my belly feels thinner but then there are times it feels the same. I for sure didn't loose any thing on my shins. I still see that fat mass just bellow my knee. my pants feel longer though so I must be loosing it somewhere

Funny thought. The other day I was walking into the store and I saw this older lady and I couldnt help but wonder if my butt looked like hers. I also saw another lady and I thought "omg I am so glad I didn't get that big". I mean really she could barely walk. It got me to thinking about another bog I follow about people wanting to purposely get large and some even want to get immobile. Seriously. WHY? Then they have someone that loves them encouraging this. They call them Feeders. This one women has a small child.

Tomorrow is weigh day. Not looking forward to it. Today I felt I ate for shit and am just getting off being broken. So ya know how that goes

Things i have realized

One that i can now get some less expensive camp chairs without worrying about the weight limit on it
I can fit into size 20 stretch pants not sure about jeans yet.
and i now can buy XL shirts and they fit.

though i wish that fat on my lower leg would go away. so disgusting. I don't feel comfy wearing shorts but i am ok with capris

Weight in Day 5/21/11

I guess someone said that today was going to be the end of the world, but we are still here. i guess that means i don't get out of weighing in today. But that is OK cuz I LOST 2.5 pounds. I am not 30.5 pound down from day one. I wish it would start coming off my shins though. i hate the way they look. eww.

I went to Kohls the other day and they had really pretty t shirts. girly shirts with a print on them but not so much that they were over printy. they went up to XL i picked up 3 and they fit me perfectly. i love it cuz they aren't 2XL. Slowly but surly getting down. i have 16 pounds to go till i hit my first goal of 200

Though MiL this weekend was destine to put a wrench in the plan with all the chips and cookies she brought in the house but i avoided them. i did eat a couple cookies yesterday and really they weren't as good as i remember. i think they would have been better if she used real milk chocolate instead of the semi sweet. but what you do is take 2 ritz crackers, some peanut butter in middle and dip them in melted chocolate. I also don't think she used Jif peanut butter. yes i am a peanut butter snob. She also brought in a cinnamon roll the size of a small cabbage (not shitting you) and euclairs that i swear are the size of a 6inch sub at subway. I think she went to Fe Fi Fo Fum's bakery. i am not touching the roll (yep i am a cinnabons snob) and i don't eat euclairs but it is bad bad for hubby. he is a muncher, he already stole the 2 mini packs of chocolate bars she brought in. and he ate part of the euclair. She knows we are dieting, she knows we are doing WW but yet she still brings in junk. she did WW before. tried in Jan to do it again but she can't stick to the serving sizes or the munching. she isn't overly over weight. but she does have a middle but it really isn't too bad. her legs are skinny though. I am surprised she isn't a house with how much she loves food. oh to have her metabolism. What went wrong with her son. example. we went to Panera's for lunch and we got the same meal, Salad and a full frontega chicken sandwich. I ate half the sandwich and salad and took the other half home for the next day. she ate the salad and the whole sandwich. the whole sandwich is 24pts. yes add 5 more points to that and that is a full Days points for me. She got a Steak (we grilled out thursday) it was Friggin HUGE. i swear it must have been well over 16oz steak. she kept telling us to make sure we knew when served up she had the biggest one. and yes she ate it all. CRAZY But that is June, wouldn't love her anyway other way.

Anyway, last week i haven't been up to doing my food diary like i should and with my son grounded from the computer, i just may be able to get on the computer more. today after being sick for the last few day i need to hop back on the elliptical. the pool is closed for maintence next week so water fitness is out of the picture

oh add that dh must be liking the whole excercise thing cuz he said he wants a bike. we went looking at bikes yesterday before our movie and OH MAN Erik the bikeman their bikes are expensive. the one that caught my eye was a pink one but it was over $300. um yeah no, i would settle for the $99-$150 ones at walmart. considering we have to get H a new one, C a new innertube probably, a carrier for S and a bike for dh.

Shorty

It sucks being short. I am following a blogger My Hips Don't Lie and she pretty much started out where I started. But looking at her pictures that she is posting she looks so much better than me. Because she is taller than me which distributes her wieght out better. I am also always jealous of the larger women who just don't gain in their faces. so you can take headshots of them and they look gorgous but me i look bloated and fat. So yeah it sucks being short. i really should start taking some pictures as i go in this journey so i can see it but yeah no. i hate pictures of me. My sister says it isn't pretty but it is an honest portrait of where you are and showing you where you are going. Course right now my camera is full of sand and i am trying to figure out what i can do to either fix it. hubby's cure is getting me a new one but then he is saying he is going to get me a SLR. OH MY that is alot of camera.

Weigh In Day 5-14-11

Well this week was a so so week. I didn't really work out like I did the week before and i ate some stuff i probably shouldnt have. And it showed. while i didn't loose anything, I didn't gain anything either. but while it was a so so week there was some high points. Point number 1. I took the kids to the Children's museum on Sunday and i had to keep hiking up my pants. yep, lost enuf that my jeans are slipping off my butt. Point number 2. Someone at the center who hasn't seen me in a bit notice i have lost weight. YEAH. most people i see daily don't see it as well they see me daily. I know my sister's would see it cuz they don't see me but 3 times a year. Mother in law is coming this wednesday so she will probably say something too but really she says something everytime she sees me and those time i really didn't loose anything.

On the agenda this week. workout more (got a new suit for water fitness) Snack more on good stuff and stop getting those trigger cookies. (DAMN YOU Elves)

Today we went out to eat and I got the walleye grilled not fried, and despite me wanting to eat that whole mound of potatoes. I didn't. i ate maybe 1/4 of it. Dh saved me from the big slice of fresh bread they gave with the meal but sadly he didn't need to eat it either as he gained this week.

Weigh In Day 4/8/11

Well today is weigh in day. i was a bit nervous about today as i have been eating for shit all week. almost a whole box of Fudge stripe cookies, oreos one here one there. yeah it has been a munching week. but i did loose this week. it probably would have been more if i would have not munched so much but a loss is a loss right. at least it isn't a gain. i lost 3.5lbs this week. Total since the start of this weight loss journey 28lbs. I am closer to 200 every day. once i hit 200 my goal. then i will set 180.

working out is a bitch. i am ok with water fitness. i love it. don't feel like working out but DAMN my new ellipitcal is kicking my ass. i do 33min a day when i am not doing water fitness and even that i push and push to finish and then after i am done my legs feel like i ran a marathon. In the am i wake up so stiff and sore. i know eventually it will get easier and i just have to push through but it is sooo hard. though i am catching up with Army Wives on netflix. i watch almost a whole episode while working out then i collasps on the bed and finish the show up. i have to cover up the clock so that i don't watch it cuz then the time will DRAG on. Dh has been good too about working out. not so good about eating better. sure he sticks to his points but his food choices aren't the best.

I also lost a point for this last weight loss. i get 29 daily points, but the good news is that is the lowest i will go. i can earn points for the day by continuing to work out though.

Confession

I am a grocery cart watcher. (i also watch peoples shoes but that is another story) i can help but see a skinny person and see what they are eating in their cart. I also can't help but look in large peoples carts and wonder "ah that is why you are the way you are, look at what you have in your cart" I wonder what people see when they look in my cart. sure i do from time to time have the cookies and the chips but really they are for the kids (shhh we won't talk about those dang elves and their fudge striped cookies i ate yesterday). lately i been getting alot of salad stuff and fiber bars. (which i am currently out of) Broccoli is a staple in my fridge i think i must spend about $20 a week on broccoli. seriously i could eat it with every meal. Thankfully the weather is getting warmer and i can start thinking of putting in my garden. i think today i shall plant my cucumber plants. they should be ok and if we do get a freeze easily covered with some buckets. zucchini plants too. So if you see me in the grocery store make sure you hide anything in your cart you don't want me to know about cuz i am peeking.

side note. i hate you skinny people who i see with alot of crap in your cart but you are rail thing. you and your damn awesome metabolism

Today has been rough

i don't know what it is but i just have been eating all the wrong things. i think i would have been ok if i had just not caved and got those dang cookies. but i did and like I knew i couldn't stop eating them. i also think it has to do with me not drinking water like i should but i just been in a funk all day. lack of sleep, getting a cold. i don't know. i want something to drink now but damn if my child stole my water bottle again. seriously it is getting old fast